Travel Envy

One of the things I do when I've sick of work but have a lot to do is browse travel sites while waiting on the server to respond.  A few weeks ago I got an email with a link to a blog about what influences your travel decisions.  It asked a panel of travel bloggers if nationality, gender, age or religion was the highest consideration when making a choice about your next trip.

Interesting.  What influences my travel decisions?  At least nationality (I don't go where there's violence against Americans or the US Gvt says I can't go) and gender.  I do like to travel by myself, but I like to go places where I can get by speaking English and where women are basically equals in society when traveling solo.  And I especially like to go where I can visit with someone I know some of the time.  Luckily age hasn't been a limitation for me yet.  But I do feel an urgency to visit as much of the world as possible as soon as possible.  I really regret not traveling around when I was "young and carefree" and willing to stay in questionable hotels/hostels.  Right now I really like having airline tickets to mark the beginning and end of an adventure and at least a place to stay the first night.  During my pondering about religion and my trips, I had a funny a-ha moment where I realized I have probably crossed that line from being religious to not -- and that is still uncomfortable to say.  A different blog perhaps.  But even back when I still fooled myself into thinking I was religious, I would be fascinated to see other religions and their influence on culture...but probably not enough to make it the deciding factor for a trip.

So after I'd thought about what influences my travel, I read the rest of the blog.  Honestly, that took me a few days -- probably 2 weeks, if I were to tell the truth.  And more than half of it was last night sitting on the couch with Iggy's new iPad waiting for him to finish whatever he was doing so we could watch a movie.

Most of the travelers in the blog are truly independent and sound like they would never consider stooping to a pre-arranged tour.  I am 90% sure that if I traveled enough then I would be the same way.  But several years ago I took a tour bus trip of ...er... the UK or Great Britain?  Great Britain (we didn't see any of Ireland -- a regretful omission).  Granted, other than one grandson, myself and my companion were the only ones under 50 on the bus.  So while I had a great time, I'd like to save those trips for when I am a senior citizen.  Much like the panelist Michael Schneider.  He and his wife are in their 60s and still doing "strenuous" travel (he mentioned kayaking and hiking recently) -- and will consider beaches and cruises later!  I hope to be writing that blog (or whatever new-fangled thing replaces blogs) in a couple decades!

The panelists would probably turn up their noses at my all-inclusive resort vacation this year too.  (Or at least delay it until they were 70.)  But in my life even that has its place now.  That Mexico trip was probably one of my favorites (even without the wedding, but having everyone cater to or defer to me for that probably fed my ego more than I care to admit).  It was so cool to have all the families and friends meet each other in a neutral site.  It was nice to take the "turf" and some of the obligation and the "timeframe" out of the picture.  No one was really there long enough to figure out those areas where I know they'd disagree (respectfully, of course) and everyone was free to do different activities but to hang out when they wanted to.  I like to think everyone got something for themselves out of the trip -- even if I did force them to spend their hard-earned vacation days and $ on a place and time of my choosing.  Iggy and I have a "stay 5 days and get 3 days free coupon" for the anniversary of our trip.  So we're likely to do a repeat all-inclusive stay next year.

One of the most interesting comments was at the end and was on gender (which most panelists seemed to admit was at least an unconscious or unwilling consideration).  It is (sadly) still easier to be respected as a man in basically any culture.  Regarding that, one panelist (Wade Shepard) said, "I am surely missing something."  Think about that for a minute.  By itself the quote could be saying that he's missing out on the experience of living in the world as a woman.  But, I admit, that quote is a little out of context.  It comes after a paragraph on how he's observed his wife being treated when he's not with her -- and how it would be disprectful to *the man* to treat the woman like that if she were with a man.  (!!! Do NOT get me started!)  The whole quote is "This stuff [cat-calls, ass-grabs, propositions, etc.] does not happen when I am around, and it is my impression that women may travel in a very different world than I. I am surely missing something."

I love the sentence on it's own for the double meaning.  But I also like what he's saying...

One panelist (Dave) says he alternates extremes on his trips.  This is a fascinating idea.  Like one time I could go on a humanitarian trip to an African country to help build a schoolhouse then the next time I could go to a Scandinavian country for a week of indulgence and spa treatments.  Poverty then luxury.  Giving back then selfishly taking.  Both sound fun to me.  I probably do this to a lesser degree on a subconscious level since I really enjoy variety, new experiences and learning.

Another panelist had an interesting comment on the concept of novelty.  Nellie Huang is from Singapore and her partner is from Spain.  So traveling to the Mediterranean or north Africa might feel exotic for her, but would be ho-hum for her traveling companion.  Likewise Indonesia or Asia might not feel as exotic to her as it would for someone else.  Along with this as a consideration for me comes comfort zone.  Being a military brat made me comfortable in situations where I couldn't understand a word being said.  Not that I like it.  But it doesn't freak me out.  It didn't occur to me until traveling with someone outside of my family that this might bother other people.  I remember once in Switzerland after 4 or 5 days of making the effort to use my high-school French on signs and when with people when they'd stop me in the street to ask directions (a huge compliment that they didn't just assume I was a foreigner) just wanting someone to talk American (not English) and to have a diet Coke (not a Coca Cola light) and have a McDonald's hamburger (something I rarely crave when in the States).  So I get the comfort zone thing.  But it doesn't happen to me on day one.  And the next morning after my Swiss-induced homesickness, I was ready for whatever came my way even if it involved butchering the French language some more and some odd food (with the exception of "Chinese Fondue").

The most interesting panelist to me was Angelina Hart.  She has this concept of raising "global children" and takes her daughters on what I would consider atypical trips.  Would most moms consider taking their daughters to Iran?  Especially when they were under 10 years old?  Wow.  Seriously.  I wanted to be 10 and be her daughter.  And then I wondered who the daughters hang out with.  I remember coming back to the States from Greece (not nearly as unusual) and not having much in common with the kids here.  Of course, her daughters live in the US and just visit other countries so maybe those are apples and oranges, so to speak.  But an interesting goal -- to raise global children.

In the end I am cognizant of my jealousy of these people and their lives.  I can't wait for my next trip, but at the moment I have too much to consciously plan it (obviously my priorities are out of whack).  But I indulge myself with a minute at a time here and there on my non-work computer while chained to my desk...and dream about river cruises through Eastern European countries or a Nile cruise and some time pretending to be Agatha Christie on a dig in Egypt.  Or visiting Casablanca.  Or Antarctica.  Or...

Jealous of the Commute (Really?!?)

Traditionally some of my girlfriends (the chix) go to the Zoo Lights in December.  I've been the least consistent member, I think, even though my best friend organizes it.  Not really sure what that's about, but maybe something to think about later.

At any rate, she sent the email today asking what day we'd all like to go.  And in the zoo announcement about the lights was a link to a blog on riding your bike to work for a year.  That's quite a commitment.  I used to live about 4 miles from my work for about a year.  I can probably count the number of times I rode my bike to work on both hands without reusing any of the fingers.  Which is odd because I really love to ride my bike -- actually, living at that apartment was when I rediscovered riding my bike and bought a "serious" bike with my tax return.

I think it's really cool that the zoo is challenging its employees to have a lower carbon footprint right here, right now!  It's a way many of us could contribute to a better planet by acting locally.

The blog is OK -- a little sparse (only monthly updates).  But I think it might be hard to write a blog that your work links to and share too much "genuinely" -- I would always have that filter in place.

I am impressed by her ability to get to volleyball in various cities after work -- and by the amount of difference it's making (1 tank of gas in 3 weeks, a family vacation where they used only public transportation, etc.).

But I am also confused by using people who drive to work to help you out.  Sure carpools are better, but if you don't use them consistently then some days the driver rides alone...and it sounds like if you have a kid then someone has to drive to work to have the flexibility to deal with unforeseen issues.  Which vaguely reminds me of my work friend in the early 90s who announced that "since I'm pregnant I need a cell phone."  I mean babies have been born for ... probably millennia ... without the aid of cell phones.  And kids have had to wait for parents in the past.  Not that I would be any different in either situation.  At any rate.

Maybe I'm just jealous because I don't get to ride my bike to work (I work at home).  I wish I had a commute so I could squeeze in a little exercise twice a day in already "wasted" time.  Yeah, it's probably that...

Can't wait to hear how she does in the winter -- or if that means she mostly takes the bus.  (BTW - her command of the bus system is impressive.  When I took the bus I basically only knew my one route and didn't ever try to get too fancy if a bus was crowded.)

Change the World for $1 a Day

Speaking of projects where you use $1/day like the previously-mentioned dress project, I saw a site today sponsored by GoodReads that had the concept of donating $1/day for 1000 days.  The specific project was to send books to Africa:

At Books For Africa, we believe that education is the great equalizer in the world, and books are at the foundation of a strong educational system.

$1/day seems like so little.  And then there's the rest of the math:

• Monthly—$30 a month (Pay Period = Monthly, Donation Amount = $30)
• Quarterly—$91 a quarter (Pay Period = Quarterly, Donation Amount = $91)
• Semi-Annually—$182 twice a year (Pay Period = Semi-Yearly, Donation Amount = $182)
• Annually—$365 a year (Pay Period = Yearly, Donation Amount = $365)
• One-Time—$1,000 (Pay Period = One-Time, Donation Amount = $1,000) 

Even the $365 seems like "not much" when I think of it as all I'd have if I put a $1 in a bucket every day at the end of a year (excepting Leap Year, of course).  The funny thing is that it starts to feel a little different if you ask me if I want to write you a check today for $365...

In a sorta related item, you could change your world for some "spare change"...  I have never really understood the appeal of Bank of America's Keep the Change program: Bank of America will round up every Visa debit card purchase to the next dollar and deposit the difference in your account.  What freaks me out about that is that I hate being imprecise.  I am wondering if all the rounding up with play havoc with my ability to guess how much I have in my account at any given time.  I know you may think that the need to be precise and guessing at my account balance are opposites, but they're not.  I really do know, maybe not down to the penny, but in general I know if I can make a purchase or not.  If you were taking out a few extra pennies every time, I could end up in really big trouble.  I've seen Office Space.  I know what pennies do.  The linked article on the Keep The Change program said that it's unlikely to help you unless you can get to the point of saving $5000.  And if you can save that much, you should probably be putting your money into something with higher yields.

But still, we're taking a small amount and ending up with something big after a while.  So, can I commit to it?  Is it worth it?  Is it enough?

Exploring the Kama Sutra in 69 days!

Just kidding.  Although that was a suggestion when I asked for project ideas.  Bet you can't guess who suggested that!

I got some other interesting ideas for one-off posts and a link to a blog where a woman re-created a dress a day on a budget that was fascinating.  Good idea, but I have no time for projects which require time. (sigh)

I got a couple of ideas for longer-term projects like

• volunteering and blogging about those experiences (I used to love taking my dog to a Boulder, CO halfway house so that she could participate in pet therapy.  Alas, my current pooch, while super-sweet and quite a character, doesn't have the temperament for that.  I could consider other volunteer opportunities -- like I've always wanted to help with Habitat for Humanity.)
• reuniting with lost friends or those relatives that live down the street that you never call and only see if another relative visits from out of state and sharing that experience (I should totally do this and feel guilty for avoiding it -- I almost didn't mention it here!)

I found a writing class I wanted to take, but got scared of the commitment.  My job takes all hours of the day some days and is so unpredictable that I just couldn't justify spending any money on anything.  (I actually did decide to learn Spanish a couple of years ago, but only made 2 of the 5 classes due to work.)

The search continues...in the meantime I will write up mid-year reviews for my team (a new job task I've never had to do previously and which is not proving to be all that fun).  Wheeeeee~~!

A Few of My Favorite Things

Travel, Lattes, Independence

This was taken on my trip last year to visit Calle in New Zealand. After a 3-day sailing adventure that we went on together, I got to spend a lot of time exploring by myself during the day when she was at work. It was a nice, sorta independent time, but also with the comfort of knowing I would be going to hang out with someone I really enjoyed in the evening. The other thing I really like about this photo (besides the very artful pattern the barista made for me) is that I love lattes. They're like comfort food in the mornings. I love having a latte and watching people walk by the window. Or while reading a book.  It  makes me slow down and appreciate the peace of the moment.

Bling, Rain, Dogs, Flowers, Family

I adore shiny things. So these raindrops were like special sparkly treasures. It doesn't rain that much in Colorado, so I always enjoy it when it does. I was dog-sitting at the time for two huge, lovable, fluffy Old English Sheepdogs named Cromwell and Hastings. (Awesome names -- I feel like I should cultivate a British accent just to hang out with them.) And there's always the sentimental side when I see or take flower photographs. When we moved to Colorado my grandma on my Dad's side used to come and visit. She grew prize-winning orchids in her basement and had a fascination for alpine tundra flowers. I think she went on every guided nature walk that Rocky Mountain National Park ever offered. And I think she cataloged every possible variety of flower there. When we moved her out of her house she literally had a dozen+ boxes of flower photos (not shoeboxes, think bigger, like a box that would hold a shelf of books). So I've seen a couple flower photos in my lifetime...and I guess I didn't fall far from the tree if I'm also taking them.

Bike Rides, Outside, Autumn

The picture above was taken on a bike ride around Dillon Lake with my buddy, Becca.  We happened to be there on the perfect day to see all the Aspen colors -- and it was sunny too!  Can't get any luckier than that.  I can't describe how much I like riding my bike.  It's the best tax return investment I've ever made.  Riding is when my brain processes through most of those sticky thoughts or bottled-up things that I don't easily let go.  Being outside is a part of that.  I like the feeling of huge open space and nothing over my head to hold it all in.  It lets those sticky, bottled-up bits just float right out.  Plus I think I might be part plant or something because I feel better when in the sunshine.  I like exercising, too, because it lets me be a little less careful about what I eat (or it used to - sigh) and I'm always chasing that feeling of coordination and fitting into my space that comes with it.  I prefer to ride by myself most of the time because I'm terrible at pacing and hate holding people back.  Plus from the articles I read on riding it seems like there's a pack order and a social/physical obligation to contribute to the pace by taking the lead sometimes.  That would totally defeat the purpose of me letting my brain unwind.

Split-Aparts

I know this is a cheesy picture, but I look like I was the page of some magazine!  The sepia tones, the symbolic "new view" of opening the curtains, the way the beautician did my hair, the fact that I don't look too chubby, etc.  All nice work from the photographer.  But this really symbolizes being a part of a team. I like working together and accomplishing something bigger than you could by yourself.  Those little things you learn from other people -- little on the fly tidbits or the new ways to see something -- fascinate me.  And marriage is the ultimate team, right?  The two of you against the world?  Before I get to carried away, I better move off that topic, but you get the basic point, right?  Just one more thing -- apparently the notion of split-aparts is something I got from a movie I don't remember ever seeing.  I'm terrible at remembering movies.

Ice Hockey, The Path Less Traveled, Art

This is a statue of a jazz band in the wintertime in Reykjavik, Iceland.  Nobody goes to Iceland in the winter on purpose, right?  Most tourists go in the summers for all the outdoor activities.  But for this atypical tourist excursion, I went with my women's ice hockey team.  I love ice hockey -- it can be quick, physical, strategic, and still a finesse game all at once.  The women's teams I have played on seem to be very interested in setting up plays and learning to work together (men's teams seem to be more about the physical and individual glory).  Sadly, for the Iceland tournament, my team didn't do any scoring on the ice (hee), but we do have some great stories to tell!

And that's how I arrived at the new image at the top of this blog page - it's almost all of my favorite things all smushed together into one collage.

Time For a Change

We saw Julie and Julia recently.  I was jealous (or inspired). Now that I'm done with the Bridezilla project, it sounds fun to have a new project and it even sounds fun to have a deadline.

But what to do?

I sorta half-heartedly started this type of thing with the 5280 magazine's top restaurant review. I blogged about the meals we had out. This was fun (and I might continue) but it's been over done, I suppose. And I currently have no set schedule or goal.

I should learn to cook. It looks fun, and I sure do like to eat. Even thought that's been done, I could pick a different cookbook that sounds more fun to me. Like the Moosewood Cafe (their book for cooking at home) or the Coyote Cafe cookbook. I could get a cooking series show on DVD (I think I saw the Giada De Laurentiis and the Rachel Ray series at Target) and cook the things they make. But Iggy is already a great cook and he seems to like cook the evening meal. And, honestly, I don't see me sticking with this one for very long.

I've wanted to learn to garden too. But we're getting close to winter, and I'm sure I'd lose momentum. Plus the wait to see anything is somewhat incompatible with my need for instant gratification.

I like doing home improvement projects, and I have quite a few of those on my list that I'd like to do. But probably half of those are the "hire a contractor" type as opposed to the do-it-yourself type.

I've seen some cool photo blogs where they take a picture a day. That might be fun. But what sort of goal to set?


I love riding my bike, but I'm such an amateur that I'm fairly certain I have nothing to say on the subject. Besides, that's one of those things that's more fun to DO than to TALK ABOUT.
I've always loved reading -- and I'm in 2 book clubs. The problem with that is that right now I read so sporadically I rarely finish the books in time for book club. And my book clubs tend to pick best seller types, so those tend to be over-reviewed. I'm not sure I'd have much original to add.

I thought about trying my hand at creative writing today...and after all, this is a writing medium. I saw some interesting ideas all over the place (for example: 100 ideas, Writing Forward). But, again, what goals/timeline?

Thoughts? Advice?

Maybe I don't need a project...I'm behind at work anyways (but that's a constant state).

MILs

View from the Balcony

 We woke up to the sound of the waves gently rolling on the shore. The light is very muted here since it’s “rainy season”. For some reason, laying in bed listening and letting my unfocused eyes wander around the shell-shaped swoops of the textured ceiling I thought it would be cold outside. The AC isn’t on very high and the temperature is pleasantly in between cool and comfy-warm.

 

We’re here to get married. Which is exciting! And I am so glad to be here for a host of reasons that are unrelated to the wedding that’s sorta hard to sort them all out:

 

• I get to see Calle. (This is my friend from New Zealand and it will be twice in her 3-ish years there that I’ll see her. When she moved down under I had resigned myself to the occasion email.)
• I successfully got my dress here. (It was a royal P.I.T.A. carrying it through the airports and the planes didn’t have a closet for it as promised. I have no idea what shape it’s in after being smooshed in the overhead bin on top of everyone’s roll-aboard carry-ons…we’ll find that out later today.)
• I am on VACATION! (I stayed up all night before the trip trying to get caught up. I really should just work 10 hours every day – including weekends. It would be a lot easier in the end. I got my hours in at the layover at Phoenix and while there are 2 things I promised to get done before I left that I didn’t…well, someone else will figure them out. And hopefully have forgotten that I dumped that on them when I get back to work in a couple weeks.)
• Iggy, while a nervous traveler, seems to be a great companion (not only for trips but in general).
• One set of in-laws is here and that is going well…which brings me to the something I’ve been thinking about for a couple days.

 A couple of days ago a friend of mine posted on her Facebook wall “my MIL makes my life difficult”. And this weekend I’m about to gain two MILs. So how should I approach this?

 

I had a MIL once. She was great – fun, adventurous, brave, successful, smart, savvy. But she made my life difficult too. Her son, my ex, always chose her over anyone else. Granted I was easy-going at first. So every time he wanted to spend Christmas at my in-laws’ house – and there was always a good reason why we needed to, some saddening life event, some challenge she was facing, etc. I said “Ok, but next year maybe we can go visit my folks or have people come to our house.” It never worked out that way. And he was always wanting to go to their house in the mountains and spend the weekend. Every vacation we went on while we were married, they went too. She was cool, but I was second fiddle.

 

So I got to thinking about that. My ex-MIL was someone I really liked and actually liked hanging out with. Just not for every free moment. And my ex didn’t really see what I was complaining about – I mean his mom was cool, so what was my deal? So does anyone think their own mom would be a difficult mother-in-law?

 

Then I realized that this isn’t the point. For my own mom, we have differences, sure. But I have a lifetime of getting to know her and getting used to the nuances of what makes her happy or sad. So anyone coming into the picture now is a couple of decades behind me in figuring this situation out – they’ve got some adjusting to do. I think it’s like a foreign culture, almost, to try and learn how someone else’s family works. Do they brush their teeth before or after breakfast? Is it acceptable to have a nightcap before bed? Do they eat meat? Do they like to debate at the dinner table? Do they pray before dinner?

 

Anyways – here’s to adaptability and new adventures! I hope this weekend of all our families and friends meeting goes well. I’d hold my breath, but I’d probably pass out. And the scenery’s too pretty to miss…

 

See the bee?

Quality Time at the Ballgame

So, before you go and think that I never actually watch the game when I'm at the Rockies, here's a picture of the game -- you can see the baseball and everything:

 

Now on to the non-baseball part of the night.

It was an interesting night before we even got to the game.  Iggy, Becca and I had sorta planned to eat before going into the game, but Becca didn't get here as soon as I'd estimated based on her IM saying "leaving soon".  And when she got here, I looked at the time and said "I think we'll have to eat in Coors Field" -- more so we were all on the same page about the initial destination than anything.  I'd worked on my stuff right up until the last minute so it wasn't like I was sitting at the door going "WHERE *IS* SHE?!".  But I made her feel bad that she'd screwed up the plans.  (sigh)  At least she shrugged it off easily.

Then we seemed have front row for everyone making out.  I think July 6th must be National Make-Out Day, but somehow the holiday was left off my calendar.  I'm not big on PDA for myself, and so I'm not being hypocritical when I prefer that they wait until they get home for tongue action.  At least on the train.  And in the ball field.  The couple right in front of us was pretty impressive.  They arrived in the 2nd inning.  Each had a beer in each hand.  Then they left at the top of the 4th and came back later with round 2 of 2 beers each.  They left in the 6th.  I hope neither of them was driving.  During the time they sat in front of us their vocalizing went from cheering for the players/friendly banter to a fight to making up (tongue action) to the decision to leave while they were both still in the mood.  I suppose they could've come back (we left not too long after them)...

So of course I'm sitting there thinking about communication (my slip with Becca) and couples (well they WERE right in front of us).  Getting married soon has me worried about communicating and keeping that up -- it's a lot of work.  It's worth it, but it's never really easy.  And just when you think things are going along fine is really when they're all about to blow up.  Or maybe I'm really just a closet pessimist.  That's about when I looked to my left and saw this woman:

I basically get this:  it's a nice night out and she gets to spend time with her honey.  And she gets to do something she likes.  I just wonder what the conversation went like where you arrive at it being OK to spend money to sit at a game and read a book.  OR maybe she lost a bet.  At least she was in the nose-bleed section, right?

Fashion Cents (Tales of Bridezilla, part 2)

We were sitting at the Rockies game tonight and I got to thinking about fashion.  No, silly, I was still following the game, but it's sorta hard to see the game when you're sitting on the aisle and people keep walking up and down *supposedly* in between at-bats.

Just FYI, I would spend the rest of my life in my favorite jeans (if I could just lose this darn 15lbs I gained in the last 2 years), a tank-top bra, sweatshirt and my trusty Ecco Receptors if I had the choice.  I dress up to go to the office under great duress because I find all business clothes stuffy, uncomfortable and pretentious.  Or slutty.  There seems to be no middle ground.

So I color me incredibly surprised when I am totally excited about a wedding dress.  I don't quite know what to make of it.  But even the whole fairy-tale thing seems to come into focus for me with Iggy.  I have never been so girly in my whole life really.  When I went through the whole wedding thing before it was basically because my best friend was a fabulous party planner and I figured it was just me that couldn't grasp why you'd have a big day of pretending to be fabulous and wearing a $2000-single-use-dress.

Anywho...the Rockies game.  I saw a lot of flipflops and sneakers pass by.  But I also saw a surprising number of high heels.  Who wears high heels to a baseball game?  On a Tuesday night?  These women were uber cute - nice designer handbags (also a new weakness of mine - wtf???), cute mini skirts, trendy flowy "jackets" over a camisole with some glittery beaded necklace.  I love high heels even if I don't wear them much (I seem to already be sorta tall) and I find it fun to wear them with jeans.  I have been known to wear them to bars too -- but the point is to look sexy there.  I wouldn't wear them to a sporting event because there are lots of sticky children and people spilling mustard and beer on you there.  And I just really don't want that all over my toes...or my fancy shoes I guess.  I just rinse my sneakers off if they get dirty, but I'm not so sure my cute shoes would hold up to that.

Earlier today while I was in a meeting, er, while I was on a break, I surfed for a picture of a wedding dress I saw in some bridal magazine (oh gag me -- a bridal magazine?!? what is happening to me?).  The picture was 1.5 inches by 1 inch so you really couldn't see it.  But the picture I found on the web was...well, I am sure that is a $2000 (or more) dress.  And after all the shoes and put-together women passing by, I am sorta thinking that even though that dress would probably make me into a Greek Goddess (probably Athena and not Aphrodite -- don't get too carried away here, I'm not quite *all* that), I think I have the wrong hair.

Huh?

I recently got about 14 inches of hair chopped off for a hairstyle that looks like this:

Granted, Katie Holmes is much cuter than me and could certainly pull off Aphrodite in the expensive gown.

But at the moment I picture my hair matching something more like this dress:

Which is, of course, uber cute and uber fashionable and uber un-pull-off-able for someone that really, really, really doesn't like to be the center of attention.

This is more of the hair that I would need for the dress I saw:

But Salma Hayek could pull off any dress.

I dunno.  I have zero fashion sense.  I just know that cents-wise I would have a hard time paying a lot of money for a one-time-wear-dress.  So I am not sure I am going to go try on that dress...or if I do, I will pretend to you later that it only cost $200...

Be Careful What You Read (or The Search for the Best Burger)

My brother went to New England Culinary Institute and has had an interesting string of jobs:

• fine dining in Chicago where he got to shop for fresh ingredients and determine what the nightly special would be
• worked at a Alzheimer's center where he managed his budget so well that he hired another person, bought new stuff for the kitchen AND in a place where the residents were chronically underweight he was praised for making food so good that they actually ate and gained weight (it's a funny world where you  hear "congrats - your residents are getting fatter!!!")
• wine store manager - my personal favorite since this was in town and I frequently got great tips on wine selections, samples, etc.  I should write about the time I asked the wine store clerk to go to Rome with me...but that's for another day.

At any rate, my brother, Henry, has always been more interested in reading nonfiction while I almost always prefer fiction.  It's one of the many ways we're different.  When he moved Colorado and I was trying to reconnect with him after not really seeing him in years, I asked what his favorite book was at the moment.  As kids we used to read a lot -- it was an easy way to entertain ourselves with all the road trips and on those days where you just weren't up to trying to communicate with the neighbor kids that didn't speak the same language as you.  And I've always felt that what a person reads tells me a lot about them.  Sorta like a horoscope or palm reading for the bibliophile (and just as accurate -- haha).

He gave me a copy of The Best Food Writing for the previous year by Holly Hughes.  I kinda perused the table of contents, saw that it was a collection of articles from various sources, and asked him if he had a recommendation of where to start.  (I rarely read books like that in any sort of conventional order.)  In his typical enigmatic way, he shrugged and said "I thought this was one of the better years, so any place is good."

I'm a fan of hamburgers and fries, so the first article I read was on some author's search for the best burger ever.  This was a terrible idea.  It got me thinking about what I liked and sorta changed my outlook.  No longer was I interested in fast-food burgers -- maybe that's not so bad, but wait.  I kept thinking about the burgers I really liked:  Chili's Ground Peppercorn Burger, Red Robin's Banzai Burger, etc.  The article's author talked about several "high-end restaurant" burgers and what goes into a burger and quality of meat and other ingredients.  I was craving burgers.  I went to Red Robin.  That didn't help.  The next day I went to Chili's.  That didn't help.

The next day I caught up with my brother and told him about the article and that it had me on this odd, insatiable quest for a supreme burger.  He smirked.  Clearly I was highly suggestible and an amateur at what was a occupational hazard for him (as a chef he must read tons of articles on food and preparation).  How is he not like 300lbs?  He's tall (6-foot, plus or minus), thin, with the teeniest hit of a belly.  I found out later that after cooking all day, he's sick of it.  His pantry is stocked with cereal and his frig holds a couple sodas and some milk.  His wife won him over by making him a dinner of macaroni and cheese (presumably from a box) -- she's quite proud of this and I love her for it.

"Maybe just read the next article -- and you'll be onto another quest," quipped Henry.  Brilliant.  Frustrating.  I had the urge to stand on his feet and pull his hair again like I did when we were kids.  Except he's a lot taller than me now and that probably wasn't the way to get to know him again.

It didn't work, by the way.  I'm still looking for great burgers.  Which is why when I saw (via facebook) a list of the restaurants that are in some local Denver burger contest later this year, those restaurants moved to the top of my dining out adventures list.

The first one we tried was Argyll.  It's a "gastropub".  ...? I had to look that up -- basically it seems to me that it's pub food "kicked up a notch" as Emeril would say.  It seemed like a Scottish pub in my completely inexpert opinion -- on the lower level of a small shopping block, dark, a little noisy, bottles of wine on the wall (I'm always tempted to order one just to see the guy take it off the wall), our waiter was wearing a plaid newsboy hat, there was a framed kilt next to our table... 

Here's what I was after -- and why Argyll made it to the top of my list in my current burger quest.

The Argyll Burger Ground Lamb and Beef Patty on a Potato Bun w/ Harssa Aioli & Hand Cut Fries. Optional toppers:  avocado, fried egg, bacon, Cheeses:  English Cheddar, Stilton Bleu, Gruyere, Haystack Goat

When I ordered their signature burger, I said to the waiter "I'm having trouble deciding if I should get cheese on it -- what do you recommend? Cheddar?"  The waiter said, "Whoa! Let me stop you right there.  Since you can get a fried egg, bacon and goat cheese on it, most people do that -- it's like having 5 animals at once!"

Holy cow.

I didn't do it; I'm not that brave.  It was a great burger though.  But I can't say it's the best -- I have 9 more restaurants to try first -- but the bar is set pretty high now!


------
Postscript -- to complete the dinner review, here's the rest of what we tried:

Olives - Olives Marinated w/ Pepper Flakes, Anise and Orange Zest served with Feta and Garlic Confit
Fried Oysters 3 Fried Oysters w/ Horseradish, Ginger, Pickled Apples, Fennel & Watercress
Shephard’s Pie Layers of Stewed Lamb & Beef w/ Vegetables, Topped w/ Mashed Potatoes & Herbed Horseradish Croutons
Lemon Tart topped with blackberries and fried basil

The Olives were interesting -- temperature warm and a teeny bit spicy from the pepper flakes.  I like the Fried Oysters -- except that the fennel stayed with me throughout the entire meal (and even later!).  Iggy loved the Shephard's Pie (that's the spelling copied and pasted from their web site...not mine...maybe it's the Scottish spelling or maybe my spell checker is on the fritz) and he is going to try making it at home (yay!).  The only down side was being so full -- even an hour later when we got home I still felt really full.

 This was the only non-Scottish or non-food-themed thing I saw while there.  Is there a link between Scotland and Japan that I missed?

Jackson thinks I'm a Drama Queen

A friend of mine once told me a joke about "my dog must think I'm the greatest hunter since I come home from the store with chicken, pork, beef -- all at once and in only an hour or so."

I've always figured that this was basically true.

And if not, it's really fun to imagine how your dog sees the world without all the silly logic and convention that humans have. In fact, my new friend, Jackson, thinks I am the oddest, most unpredictable drama queen he's ever met. Can't you see the quizzical "what is your deal?" look in his eyes in this picture? Here's my best approximation of what he thinks about our relationship:

You know, it's an honor where I come from if someone sticks their nose in your crotch/butt. I don't know why you get all bent out of shape about this.

Or about mud. I don't yell at you or grab your feet and wipe between the toes when you come in from outside. If it's such a big deal, maybe you should invest in chocolate-brown carpet. I don't see any reason that you can't just leave the door to the back yard open all day. (I won't mind if you close it when it's time for bed.)

It's the neighbor dogs that bark. I just stand by the fence with my blinky ball in my mouth and wonder what their deal is. Ok, sometimes I do growl at them -- but it's only because they make no sense. Who cares if there's a fence there? I only bark at the mailman, the UPS guy, the FedEx lady, the snotty dog that gets to walk on my yard every day and people that don't belong on my block! Granted I'd be happier if most people would choose to use a different sidewalk for walking, but is that so much to ask?

Oh, and I bark at Iggy when he coughs or sneezes because I really don't think those things are healthy. We need to keep him in the pack because he is the best hunter in all the land -- you should see the stash he comes home with every day! Although he seems to not be able to find rawhides as often as he should given his obvious hunting prowess...it's really odd.

Speaking of food, why do you think I want to eat the same food every day? You have something different 3 or 4 or 5 times a day!!! Would it kill you to put some some gravy on my kibble?

If I lay down when I sit by the table at dinner, then I can't really see if you're going to drop something. It's better if I sit next to you and watch closely. Then I can clean up your precious carpet before that food gets ground in there and makes a stain. (I would do this for you, out of the goodness of my heart, even if you got that chocolate-brown carpet.)

I would like to eat that dumb cat that keeps walking on the backyard fence. Ooh! Who does she think she is? Grrrrrr!

I like your pillow and the soft blanket for the same reason you do -- they're comfy. And really, I have been sleeping on that side of the people-bed for a few years now and no one's ever had a problem with it. I like the floor-bed-thingy you got me -- thanks. Now I have one more place to nap during the day. Sometimes it's hard to give all the spots equal time, but the floor-bed-thingy is not a replacement for the couch or the people-bed. And I've even added your office to the list of places to sleep. You should be honored! We can talk about your role in dispensing treats in between naps later -- you need some work on this part of your duties. I am *always* willing to go on a walk (despite your frequent, superfluous sit commands at every single, friggin' street) or car ride with you -- even at 6a.m. in the snow.

Which reminds me -- when I have my nose out the car window and am gulping air, then farting is an expression of joy. Don't knock it. And don't stop. It's hard to keep my balance with your crazy braking habits. Plus it turns off the breeze I was so enjoying.

The blinky ball is mine. Stop trying to take it away. I will allow you to play tug with it, but I do not want to "drop it". That's why I am chewing on it. Duh.

No, I don't want a bath. I don't mind licking myself. You're just jealous that you're not that flexible.

I like socks. Worn ones are better. Just because I carry them around the house doesn't mean you can blame me for the ones you've clearly misplaced in the dryer -- I only take "clean" ones when there's no other ones available.

I don't understand why you sit in the corner all day or why when you're clearly not enjoying talking to the phone you won't just put it down and let me out. I whine to remind you that you're being unreasonable about this. Really you should consider not talking on the phone. It just pisses you off. Sometimes I tolerate your frequent "work breaks" to rub my back or belly. But mostly I like those -- keep that up.

Anywho-o-o-o...time to go nap in the sunbeam on the couch. Catch ya later.

Kicker dancing is finer than frog's hair!

Found this is a magazine today -- although I don't know why the web version of the article doesn't have this part (unless it's a link...I didn't follow the links).

Texas-isms:

• Y'all: You all. "All y'all" is even more y'alls
• All git out: Exceedingly
• Dag nab it: Exclamation in lieu of honking the horn
• Fixin' to: Planning to
• Fair to middlin': Just okay
• Hissy fit: Temper tantrum
• Conniptions: A huge hissy fit
• Scooch over: Move over a bit. [I always thought this was spelled "skootch" -- glad to get that straightened out!]
• Coke: Any carbonated beverage:

Patron: I'd like a Coke.


Waiter: What kind of Coke would you like?


Patron: I'll have a Dr. Pepper.

• Kicker dancing: Boogying to country music
• Finer than frog's hair: Superlative for pretty, etc. A possible pick-up line.

I had a neighbor at my old condo's that responded with "fair to middlin'" every time I asked him how he was. I mostly saw him at the garages. He was an elderly gentleman (apparently with Texas roots).

My folks live in the Texas now and my dad used to teach an ESL (English as a 2nd language) class for a while. He has a funny story about a shy, quiet Korean woman pulling him aside after class one day to ask him what "fixin' to" meant. She thought it was a naughty word -- but was confused because all these super-polite and mostly helpful people kept saying it to her right in the middle of conversations.

I challenge you to write a me a short paragraph using all these words! I'm working on my own mini-story too...

How 'bout them cupcakes?

My friend, Antonia, read about The Shoppe in Denver in a magazine. I was intrigued by their website and we set up an evening to meet there for dessert.

They are located on Colfax -- and if you're at all familiar with that street you'll be curious about which section. When I first moved to Denver Colfax was known as a street where you could buy *anything* and supposedly you could see "working girls" if you were to drive down it for a couple miles. I have no idea -- we never went back then (I was in Jr. High). About 10 years ago when I was learning to play hockey -- and starting with roller hockey -- we used to go to Pete's Kitchen afterwords for breakfast or gyros. This was back when they were winning awards for "best late night eats". Man -- I should go back. A gyro sounds pretty tasty. If our game was late enough, we could see the drag queens since they tended to congregate there after midnight. I always loved that because even if I shower after hockey (fairly big *if*) there's no way I am going to look put together at 2am -- and there were people there that looked like they stepped out of a fashion magazine. Another thing I enjoyed was that a few blocks from this night life type area was a really upscale French restaurant that there was no way I could afford at that time. I love juxtapositions like that. (Although that's probably not the right word.)

Anyways, back to the present... Recently they've done a whole "revitalization" project and moved one of the most popular independent book stores in Denver there (The Tattered Cover) as well as some trendy new restaurants. Well, we weren't headed to that new, trendy part. But a few blocks away sorta sandwiched between a liquor store, a closed retail store and some other off-beat stores is The Shoppe. The specialize in cupcakes -- and have menu of a few dozen different kinds. While waiting in line we saw a little boy carrying his cupcake back to his table. His eyes are so wide -- and he was taking every step very gingerly so as not to hurt the cupcake. Very cute. My eyes might've been just as wide when I got my order!

I tried a latte (yum!), the Lavendar Lemon Cupcake special, a sample-size peanut butter cookie sandwich and a sample-size carrot cake cupcake. I would recommend the sample-size items -- you get to try more flavors that way. The Lavender Lemon smelled like lavender and tasted like lemon. Strange separation of the senses, but wonderful!

The woman who rang me up said "now if you can't finish that all, we will give you a box". Very thoughtful of her to assume I'm not a glutton... I responded that I would give it my best shot since their website does recommend that you eat the item on the day of purchase. And if, due to extenuating circumstances, you do have to wait until the next day they seem to begrudgingly acknowledge that you could store it overnight in an airtight container.

I had no issue finishing mine...

I loved the ambiance of the place too. The dining room is probably the size of my office (then 2nd bedroom in my house). They have lots of art on the wall -- a couple walls of art on display by artists that's also for sale. It looked like those rotate periodically because I saw something announcing the next artist. They have another wall that's all paintings/decoupage/collage type stuff of cupcakes. A couple of the walls are built at angles and I love the lights. I would hang these in my house if they wouldn't look out of place.



They have a book nook and t-shirts for sale. It *is* a lot of stuff crammed into a small little space, but I didn't feel crowded. The best part might've been the turning spice rack next to the napkins filled with jars of every kind of sprinkle, decoration, red hot, candy, etc. imaginable for topping off your cupcake.

I hear they do wedding cupcakes too...

Jing!

Before I knew I was getting a restaurant diary for my birthday, we went to Jing and I decided to keep track of places we ate that I liked (apparently if you say something once and embarrass Iggy by taking pictures he will remember this behavior -- and even encourage it!).


I have a soft spot for Jing. It's one of the first places Iggy and I went. We went there on what I didn't consider a date. It was February 15th. I purposely asked him out the day after Valentine's Day so that he wouldn't think it was a date. (After the fact I learned that his friends considered it a date since it was on Valentine's weekend.) We went to a movie first (Frost/Nixon) and then went to dinner afterwords to discuss the movie. When we were all done with dinner and standing up to leave, I said sorta offhandedly "Funny - we never even got around to discussing the movie." Iggy sat back down and said he really did want to talk about the movie. (Big points -- I was impressed!)


Besides that association, I love the atmosphere. There are circular booths done in white suede. There's a waterfall. And all the art and is minimal and striking. But I especially love the ceiling. There's this curtain-type thing that spirals around is a double curlicue. It has beads on the end and it must've taken several bolts of fabric to make. It starts short and gradually gets longer as it spirals toward the center. The picture below is only of half of it, and doesn't really do it justice, but you get the idea. It's really cool. I would totally do that in my living room if it wouldn't look weird.






This time we went for Denver Restaurant Week. There's a Pris fix menu for $26.40 each (or $52.80 per couple -- gotta love the Denver Mile High theme -- even though I forget which step of the Capital building is actually 5,280 feet high).


We sat in the bar for a bit since we were uncharacteristically early. I ordered a mojito of the specials menu made with Thai Basil instead of Mint, but I think I ended up getting the Strawberry Mojito. That was pretty good. Iggy tried the Ginger Limeade (vodka, Canton Cognac, fresh ginger) -- that was better.


When we sat down at our table we ordered Buddha Drops. These are drinks that come with a little flower in it (the "Buddha Drop") and eating the flower will make your mouth and tongue tingle for a while. Kinda fun. Supposedly it enhances the taste of the food and the drink. Maybe...but all I could focus on was the tingly sensation. It was fun (but distracted me from the food rather than enhanced it)! I got my Buddha Drop in a Love Potion No. 8. (Thought it was supposed to be #9? Maybe that's too risky for being in public? Maybe something got lost in translation? Maybe it's an elaborate joke on people like me who are easily confused?) That is made of vodka, Hypnotiq and grenadine. It's a pleasing lime green color. I quite enjoyed it. Iggy got the "traditional" Buddha Drop drink which probably tasted better, but wasn't lime green and didn't have a catchy name. His loss.

Clockwise below: Buddha Drop, Ginger Limeade, Strawberry Mojito?, Love Potion No. 8
I am not really a sushi fan. Or even a fan of fish in general. I say it's because I'm a Pisces and I don't eat anything that swims in solidarity. That includes alligator. It's not that I have tried most of it...it's just that it all seems to taste ... well, fishy or be chewy. On the Montana trip CuervHo ordered some sushi and sashimi and let EZ-Ho and me try some. I did like some of that but I'm not sure I could make a whole meal of it. Luckily cows and chickens don't swim or I would be a vegetarian. (haha) And honestly, it probably goes back to a childhood experience with trout. Having never seen it before we came back to the States between stays in Greece, that's what was for dinner on the farm -- the guys had spent the day checking the trout lines and we were having the rewards of their efforts. I dug right in only to have a caring aunt explain that "you have to be careful of bones". I looked all over that dumb thing and didn't see any bones. I was expecting something ... well, bone-shaped. Like the ones you see on the Flintstones. I asked for some clarification and found out that the bones were these super-fine clear things all throughout the fish. That is just way too darn much effort. I asked for a hot dog instead.


Anyways, I convinced Iggy (also not a fish fan) to try the sushi that was on the 5280 appetizer menu -- along with some reliable sliders. Not bad. Even for a non-sushi person. Iggy didn't finish his and I didn't help him out though, so maybe not something I will order next time.


The sliders were great though -- the hot jalapeno was a nice touch with the cucumber. And you gotta love a burger served on that puffy dough thing that you usually get with the duck at Chinese restaurants. Yum!


In the picture below:

Four Sauces for dipping: red wine, teriayki, wasabi, pepper; Kobe Beef Sliders: little burgers served on Shanghai buns with a cucumber strips and a jalapeno on top; California Rolls

I didn't take pictures of our dinners, but they were quite good and the presentation was cool. I had the most fun with the drinks and the appetizers...so that's what you got above.

You should go -- let me know what you think!

You Know You're High Maintenance When... (or Tales of Bridezilla, Part 1)

... you take 3 salespeople to help you pick out a ring.

I'll get back to that. It's been a busy few months:

• My boyfriend's family came to visit in December for Christmas (the first time I've met his mom/sister).
• I went to TX on Christmas day (and stayed a week) to see my mom, dad, grandmas, brother, sister-in-law and niece.
  
• Had a quiet New Year's by going out to dinner and watching a movie in. (Yeah, I know, I'm old and boring -- I'll get to that too.)
  
• Went to Montana with the ColoradHos (playing as the Denver BroncHos) for a tournament in January.
• One of my good friends on the hockey team had 4 brain aneurysms not long after we got back -- that was super scary, but amazingly and miraculously she's made so much progress in her recovery that they're expecting her to play hockey again in the future!!!
• Went to St. Paul, MN to visit a client for a week in early February.
• Got an unexpected offer on my condo in mid-February (I hadn't listed it yet, just had asked a friend what I needed to do to fix it up in order to list it).
• I went to Warren, NJ the 3rd week in February to visit a different client.
• The last week of February I rented a storage place, donated 75% of my furniture, moved the rest of my stuff, cleaned my soon-to-be-ex-condo, had it's furnace fixed, had it's carpets cleaned and closed on the place (a shout out to Becca and Iggy for all the moving labor and for putting up with my stress-monster ways during that time!).
• We found out my grandma had 2 weeks to live, so I booked a ticket out there toward the end of that time to see her and help my mom who took FMLA leave to do the hospice care.
  
• Got engaged.
• Turned 40 (told you I was old and boring).
  
• Actually went on the trip to TX to visit my grandma one last time.
• Had an "intervention" at work to remove all other clients from my plate for one week so that I could concentrate on one that's in danger of missing a go-live in September.
• And since then I have been playing catch-up from that crazy week -- it wasn't worth it, by the way, because we couldn't agree on the specs and they're still in danger of missing September and now all my other deadlines for my other clients are closer and need attention. (For the record I said I didn't like the idea, so perhaps I'm guilty of not putting in the 150% effort needed to make it work. Most likely, yes.)
• I think that's it. We've now arrived at April 2nd and Easter weekend. Holy moly, where does the time go? (See? I even sound old and boring. ha!)
  

I was completely surprised by the proposal. We went to dinner and a play the day before my birthday because I was planning to work on my birthday (a Saturday), then play hockey, then go out with the team for dinner/drinks. Iggy and I had a lovely dinner Friday night at Limon (planning to blog that later) and the play (The Goodbye People) was good. When we got home I said I wanted to open my presents.

I should pause here to say that I am terrible with presents. If I buy you one, and I see you, I will give it to you. I can rarely wait for the day that occasions the present. I should probably become a last minute shopper -- it might be cheaper because after I give you the first one I tend to have to go and buy one so I have something on the right day. And...I'm just as bad at getting them. My mom/dad shipped me some presents, and my mom always wraps lots of stuff individually. I opened present per day until they ran out.

Iggy has strict rules about waiting until the day for presents. But I think I'd worn him down because he said OK this time. I opened some fun stuff - a restaurant diary, a wine label preserver and diary, a subscription to 5280 magazine (a Denver/Colorado magazine), a vodka infuser (so much fun! -- have had one OK batch so far and one pretty good one -- the good news is that it's fun to test!). After all that he said "I have one more present" and that's when he asked me if I would marry him. I was so surprised! And I'm a good guesser! (Hey - this is my blog - I can spin my abilities any way I want!) He said he struggled with what to buy because he's not sure how I *really* feel about diamonds.

After I got back from TX and Iggy got back from the guys' trip to Las Vegas for the opening weekend of the college hoops tournament, we went to the store to trade in the solitaire ring for a different ring. Normally I wouldn't probably have done that -- because I like keeping the gift itself. But he said that was the plan, so I figured it must be a good one. Now, I am not a very good shopper. I like having a list and a plan and getting in and out as quickly as possible. So I looked at the website over the course of the time he was in LVNV. I picked out a few, printed out the pages and took them to the store. I even said on the way there "hopefully this will take like 30 minutes and then we can go to lunch". Iggy, in his wise ways, said "maybe we should have lunch first". That was a good call. At the store I showed the salesperson my list. She said she'd look them up and to browse for a minute.

?!?!

I didn't want to browse randomly. I wanted to see my list. And I was tired of all the random salespeople gushing "Oh congratulations!" And I was not pleased that there was a crowd of people to wade through. Eventually she gave the list to someone else to look up -- apparently there were easier customers to wait on that actually liked browsing and wanted to make an afternoon of it. Salesperson 1 down.

The only part of browsing I enjoyed was watching the other people. Luckily there were lots of those. There was a knot of girls (women in their early 20s) picking out an engagement ring. There was a woman there older than me. She and her future husband seemed to be beaming as brightly as the 20-year-olds. I know have a little hang-up currently about being 40 and being a bride -- I seem too old to be all giddy and gushing, don't I? Not that I was ever that way, I guess. I'm also a little hesitant because I was married once before and I feel a little guilty at going through this "once-in-a-lifetime" process for the second time. Not that any part of it's really been the same -- including my feelings. I think when I was 24 I figured it "made sense" and was the "next step" after dating for 5 years... Anyways. Back to Bridezilla and the ring selection!

Salesperson 2 was a guy -- I hoped that would be better and he'd be more no-nonsense about the whole thing. He looked at their inventory on the computer in the back room (after inviting us to browse and get ideas while he was occupied). When he came back he said "we have 2 of your top 3, so let's go find them." Ok, better. But we couldn't find either of them. Apparently they have no organizational system at all. I picked some randomly after that. The "rules" only allow you to keep 3 rings out at a time, so I kept having to choose one to give back. Sometimes he'd put it in the case and sometimes in his pocket. (Does that seem fishy to you?) Usually that was really easy, but at one point I had to randomly pick. And I kept holding my solitaire up to the ring in question to try and imagine the diamond in there... Eventually he offered to get a loose stone to let me see how it might look. That was good. A couple of the settings that seemed cool looked overpowering (to me) with an actual diamond as the featured attraction. Then I thought I'd like to look at the one I randomly selected to give back. Of course we couldn't find it again. (I wonder how many rings they lose even with the "only 3" rule.) Eventually Salesperson 2 said "I have an idea -- I will be right back."

His idea was to bring in Salesperson 3. Apparently each time we got a new salesperson we went up the foodchain of salesperson hierarchy. I was thinking at some point we might actually get to talk to Tom Shane himself. This guy said "let me double-check the inventory and see if I can find your #1 choice." He also invited us to browse while we waited.

(sigh)

The good news is that he did come back with the ring I wanted to see! It had been ordered off the web and was going to be shipped out at the end of the day. So I felt a little guilty about choosing someone else's ring, but he assured me that he'd changed it so that the Kansas City store would be fulfilling that order now.

I really tried not be be a Bridezilla, but I think I turned out worse than all the other brides-to-be there. Most of them were excited to tell their story to the salesperson and seemed to love hearing "congrats" from people whose job it was to sell them a ring (granted one of the Tom Shane commercials says they don't pay their sales staff on commission -- cynical me thinks that instead they probably use a bonus system).

It’s All Relative

As I am approaching 40, and starting to feel old, it's always nice of my relatives to remind me that everything is relative (a shout out to my college buddies who thought the Physics 2 lesson on Einstein's theory of relativity applied to all things in the universe -- including emotions, luck, and 5-year plans).

I just got back from a quick trip to see my family at Christmas. To set the background:

• my dad's mom - Dot - is 96. On Boxing Day she ended up getting admitted to the hospital with pneumonia.
  
• my mom's mom - Annie - is 88. She fell and broke her arm recently, then during rehab fell and bruised her back, so she's in a downhill snowball of increasing pain right now.
  
• my niece - Merci - is 6. I love this because there is a 90-year age gap between her and Dot.
  

My folks have been caring for their moms for the last 6+ years. It's noble. It sounds exhausting to me. There's figuring out how to pay for it all (if health insurance sounds confusing try that combined with medicare, veteran's affairs benefits and retirement benefits). There's the emotions involved - from the "you kids are all trying to get your inheritance before I'm even gone" to the "I wish the Good Lord would take me now" to the "no one ever visits me". My dad stops by his mom's place at least 4 days a week. He may not stay long (Dot goes to bed at 7pm most days, so with long hours at work it's hard to get back from work before she's getting ready for bed), but he picks up and delivers all her groceries and does all the laundry. My mom spends 2 hours most days after work with Annie. This boggles my mind - 9 hours at work (with a lunch break that she usually works through), the 1 work commute, then 2 hours talking and playing cards ... when does she eat or sleep or do the insurance thing? Does she do anything for herself? I hope I can handle it with as much grace as my folks when it gets to be my turn to take care of them.

I didn't get to see Dot too much, sadly. I saw her the first morning, but that afternoon was when she had to go to the hospital. She was feeling well enough the third day to see us for a bit. It's tough to talk to her because she won't wear her hearing aids. By the time she got them, she was so used to silence that background noises like the clicking of the car blinker bothered her. So I have to shout, but even then my voice is too soft and it reminds me of a comedy of errors the conversations we do have.

HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY?
Yes, lovely.
DID YOU HAVE A NICE LUNCH?
I don't think so.

It almost makes sense, but not quite. As a result, I decided not to let the same thing happen to me. So last year when the doctor said I could maybe use an eyeglass prescription, I decided I should probably get it filled right away. I have to say that I find glasses annoying - and that whole seductive librarian thing I thought would make it fun just isn't all I thought it would be. (sigh)

Moral: Don't wait.

My cousin Les (who is younger than me and in his residency for oncology) flew in to see Annie for a Christmas surprise. Les and I spent most of our days in town with Annie playing cards. One day we showed up and Annie was slumped over in her wheelchair in a dark room. She was in too much pain to move, so she couldn't push the call button to get help. Her oxygen wasn't on - so I'm not really sure why they had the tubes in her nose. I hate to think how long she was sitting there. But I do feel lucky that we walked in at that moment to push the button and get the oxygen back on. And to distract her a bit so she could maybe ignore the pain. So I suppose I don't blame her for saying "I wish the Good Lord would just take me" a half dozen times. On the other days we mostly just played cards or wrote letters for her. I am vaguely wondering what the people who get the letters I wrote for her will think. First there's the handwriting - mine is atrocious and obviously not hers. Then there's the "voice"; if she said "I think I'm going to die in this place" then I wrote "I might be in the rehab unit for a while." Annie has always been a bit of "realist" ("the glass is half empty"). And if she repeated herself (either due to pain meds or the early signs of Alzheimer's, I am not sure which) I wrote something else. If I knew the people, I wrote a note from me to say hi, and if not I wrote about the card games. I wished I'd kept track of how many times she told me to "enjoy being young because getting old isn't all it's cracked up to be". I don't feel like I'm exaggerating to say it was nearing triple digits for the 4 days (probably about 16 hours total) that I was there.

Moral: Enjoy what you have going on right now - tomorrow's going to be a whole different game.

Merci instantly took to Les. She thought it was entirely funny to call him "the doctor in the house": "the doctor in the house will probably knock over the Jenga tower this time!" or "the doctor in the house and I are watching football". This would be followed by peals of giggles. They watched a football game together where he taught her to cheer for the Steelers. She had never seen football but learned how to yell at the TV quickly even if she had no idea what was happening. "You've got to be stronger than those other guys! Go Steelers - Go Steelers - Go Steelers!!!" She still has unending energy - it really is amazing. She gets up at 5:30am and doesn't want to go to bed until 10pm. If only I had that discipline, enthusiasm, and ...well... energy.

Moral: Amuse yourself.
Enthusiasm is contagious. Try it out.

So...thanks to my relatives for the reminder that it's all relative.

Happy 2010 everyone.