Ho(ckey) Shenanigans

I had a blast playing in the Fireman's Tournament this weekend with the ColoradHos. Here's why:

• This group of women is very clever...and the jokes were non-stop this weekend.
• For example, for this tournament, the team changes it's name to the Fire Ho's.
• Most of the chix have "Ho Names".
• When I showed up to the first game, Gung-Ho gave me a hot pink feather boa.
• The jerseys we wear say "I put the Ho in Hockey" and are hot pink.
• Anytime one of us falls down (and this happens frequently since ice is slick) everyone on our bench yells out "HO DOWN!"
• Whenever we scored half of us would yell "Hey!" and the other half would respond back with "Ho!" a couple times.  Hey! Ho! Hey! Ho!
• Anytime more than one person fell down there were cat calls and comments like "get a room, you Ho!"
• Enfeug-Ho wore a Catholic School Uniform over the top of her hockey gear.  At period breaks she did some Ice Dancing a la Ice Castles to show off the twirlyness of her pleated skirt.
  
• Apparently there is a tradition what when the Ho's play the Littleton Fire Department team there are shenanigans!  (The rest of these pertain to that game.)
• We went on the ice to the song Girls Girls Girls - and every song the scorekeeper played during the game had a similar theme...like that song about "save a horse, ride a cowboy"...
• Gung-Ho wore devil horns on her helmet while Heidi Ho wore a halo.
• The Littleton team lined up before the game and they all took of their hockey jerseys and had on white tank tops underneath where they had written on their own Ho Name!  Very clever!  They played in those instead of their jerseys.
• B-Da-Ho bought us all bras to wear over our jerseys.  I had the bright idea of trying to stuff mine with some old hockey socks but apparently my eyes were bigger than the bra because I had trouble keeping the stuffing in my bra while I was skating.  But I was very pleased with my front porch!  Barnaby-Ho said I should always skate with cleavage because it makes my shot much better.  And I think the reason I had several poke checks during the game was that that other team was distracted by my cleavage.  B-Da-Ho told me at our next game that seeing me skate by with all my cleavage made her giggle because I appeared to be fascinated with it. I tell you I was just trying to keep it contained!
• One of the Littleton players called Pocit-Ho a "little muffin".  I don't know why this is amusing, but it just is.
• Before we started the game, those of us with feather boas -- or leis -- went out for the first puck-drop.  During the line-up we skated up to our opponent and asked their name (my D opponent's name was Doug).  After he told me I said, "Well, Doug, it's always nice to know someone's name before you lei them" and wrapped the feather lei around his neck.  (Doug mostly just looked perplexed but after a few seconds he sorta laughed.)  Cuerv-Ho said it was too bad that Doug's name wasn't Don -- that way I could've called him Don-Ho when lei-ing him.  I don't think I am as quick-witted as Cuerv-Ho.
• Coach Lance (aka Ho-Ho-Ho with jersey number 25 -- get it?  Santa Claus?) put his bra on backwards.  He probably had the best boa - a very long, luxurious lilac one.  He also had probably the best "lei" line.  He told the opposing team's center that "I don't know which team you play for, so this could either be very interesting or very awkward, but what's your name? Well, ???, it's always nice to know someone's name before you give them a lei."
• The goalie from the other team skated all the way down so he could score on our goalie (normally goalies can't cross the center line during play because then they would have "illegal equipment").
• And at the very end all 30 of the skaters between both teams took the ice and played (talk about a cluster)!!!

I wish there were more pictures - but here's one where you can see us before the first face-off. I'm hidden behind Ho-Ho-Ho at center ice, but you can see Doug-Ho in the red shorts at the far left with my lei.

One other thing that was cool about the Ho's:  they stick together.  One of the Ho's had an ex boyfriend show up and yell at her between period breaks from the scorekeeper's box.  Then he proceeded to wait in the parking lot after the game to continue harassing her.  So none of that is cool, but we all sorta made a wall of people around her so he couldn't get to her and we walked her to/from her car.  Coach and a couple other guys were on the front line there, while we sorta spirited-away/distracted X-Ho.  And pretty soon the guy figured out that he wasn't getting anywhere and left.  Cuerv-Ho figures that in 5 years it will be a legend, right?  "Hey remember that year when X-Ho had the stalker show up?"

I invited Iggy to this game after hearing there were going to be shenanigans.  I wasn't sure about that choice afterwards because it wasn't a real game, but was more of a drop-in: no refs so no penalties and face-offs were the "tap your stick 3x then go for it" type.  But Iggy said it was very amusing to watch even if it wasn't a real game.  That's good - because it was highly amusing to play in that "game".