Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Fashion Cents (Tales of Bridezilla, part 2)

We were sitting at the Rockies game tonight and I got to thinking about fashion.  No, silly, I was still following the game, but it's sorta hard to see the game when you're sitting on the aisle and people keep walking up and down *supposedly* in between at-bats.

Just FYI, I would spend the rest of my life in my favorite jeans (if I could just lose this darn 15lbs I gained in the last 2 years), a tank-top bra, sweatshirt and my trusty Ecco Receptors if I had the choice.  I dress up to go to the office under great duress because I find all business clothes stuffy, uncomfortable and pretentious.  Or slutty.  There seems to be no middle ground.

So I color me incredibly surprised when I am totally excited about a wedding dress.  I don't quite know what to make of it.  But even the whole fairy-tale thing seems to come into focus for me with Iggy.  I have never been so girly in my whole life really.  When I went through the whole wedding thing before it was basically because my best friend was a fabulous party planner and I figured it was just me that couldn't grasp why you'd have a big day of pretending to be fabulous and wearing a $2000-single-use-dress.

Anywho...the Rockies game.  I saw a lot of flipflops and sneakers pass by.  But I also saw a surprising number of high heels.  Who wears high heels to a baseball game?  On a Tuesday night?  These women were uber cute - nice designer handbags (also a new weakness of mine - wtf???), cute mini skirts, trendy flowy "jackets" over a camisole with some glittery beaded necklace.  I love high heels even if I don't wear them much (I seem to already be sorta tall) and I find it fun to wear them with jeans.  I have been known to wear them to bars too -- but the point is to look sexy there.  I wouldn't wear them to a sporting event because there are lots of sticky children and people spilling mustard and beer on you there.  And I just really don't want that all over my toes...or my fancy shoes I guess.  I just rinse my sneakers off if they get dirty, but I'm not so sure my cute shoes would hold up to that.

Earlier today while I was in a meeting, er, while I was on a break, I surfed for a picture of a wedding dress I saw in some bridal magazine (oh gag me -- a bridal magazine?!? what is happening to me?).  The picture was 1.5 inches by 1 inch so you really couldn't see it.  But the picture I found on the web was...well, I am sure that is a $2000 (or more) dress.  And after all the shoes and put-together women passing by, I am sorta thinking that even though that dress would probably make me into a Greek Goddess (probably Athena and not Aphrodite -- don't get too carried away here, I'm not quite *all* that), I think I have the wrong hair.

Huh?

I recently got about 14 inches of hair chopped off for a hairstyle that looks like this:

Granted, Katie Holmes is much cuter than me and could certainly pull off Aphrodite in the expensive gown.

But at the moment I picture my hair matching something more like this dress:

Which is, of course, uber cute and uber fashionable and uber un-pull-off-able for someone that really, really, really doesn't like to be the center of attention.

This is more of the hair that I would need for the dress I saw:
But Salma Hayek could pull off any dress.

I dunno.  I have zero fashion sense.  I just know that cents-wise I would have a hard time paying a lot of money for a one-time-wear-dress.  So I am not sure I am going to go try on that dress...or if I do, I will pretend to you later that it only cost $200...