Ho(ckey) Shenanigans

I had a blast playing in the Fireman's Tournament this weekend with the ColoradHos. Here's why:

• This group of women is very clever...and the jokes were non-stop this weekend.
• For example, for this tournament, the team changes it's name to the Fire Ho's.
• Most of the chix have "Ho Names".
• When I showed up to the first game, Gung-Ho gave me a hot pink feather boa.
• The jerseys we wear say "I put the Ho in Hockey" and are hot pink.
• Anytime one of us falls down (and this happens frequently since ice is slick) everyone on our bench yells out "HO DOWN!"
• Whenever we scored half of us would yell "Hey!" and the other half would respond back with "Ho!" a couple times.  Hey! Ho! Hey! Ho!
• Anytime more than one person fell down there were cat calls and comments like "get a room, you Ho!"
• Enfeug-Ho wore a Catholic School Uniform over the top of her hockey gear.  At period breaks she did some Ice Dancing a la Ice Castles to show off the twirlyness of her pleated skirt.
  
• Apparently there is a tradition what when the Ho's play the Littleton Fire Department team there are shenanigans!  (The rest of these pertain to that game.)
• We went on the ice to the song Girls Girls Girls - and every song the scorekeeper played during the game had a similar theme...like that song about "save a horse, ride a cowboy"...
• Gung-Ho wore devil horns on her helmet while Heidi Ho wore a halo.
• The Littleton team lined up before the game and they all took of their hockey jerseys and had on white tank tops underneath where they had written on their own Ho Name!  Very clever!  They played in those instead of their jerseys.
• B-Da-Ho bought us all bras to wear over our jerseys.  I had the bright idea of trying to stuff mine with some old hockey socks but apparently my eyes were bigger than the bra because I had trouble keeping the stuffing in my bra while I was skating.  But I was very pleased with my front porch!  Barnaby-Ho said I should always skate with cleavage because it makes my shot much better.  And I think the reason I had several poke checks during the game was that that other team was distracted by my cleavage.  B-Da-Ho told me at our next game that seeing me skate by with all my cleavage made her giggle because I appeared to be fascinated with it. I tell you I was just trying to keep it contained!
• One of the Littleton players called Pocit-Ho a "little muffin".  I don't know why this is amusing, but it just is.
• Before we started the game, those of us with feather boas -- or leis -- went out for the first puck-drop.  During the line-up we skated up to our opponent and asked their name (my D opponent's name was Doug).  After he told me I said, "Well, Doug, it's always nice to know someone's name before you lei them" and wrapped the feather lei around his neck.  (Doug mostly just looked perplexed but after a few seconds he sorta laughed.)  Cuerv-Ho said it was too bad that Doug's name wasn't Don -- that way I could've called him Don-Ho when lei-ing him.  I don't think I am as quick-witted as Cuerv-Ho.
• Coach Lance (aka Ho-Ho-Ho with jersey number 25 -- get it?  Santa Claus?) put his bra on backwards.  He probably had the best boa - a very long, luxurious lilac one.  He also had probably the best "lei" line.  He told the opposing team's center that "I don't know which team you play for, so this could either be very interesting or very awkward, but what's your name? Well, ???, it's always nice to know someone's name before you give them a lei."
• The goalie from the other team skated all the way down so he could score on our goalie (normally goalies can't cross the center line during play because then they would have "illegal equipment").
• And at the very end all 30 of the skaters between both teams took the ice and played (talk about a cluster)!!!

I wish there were more pictures - but here's one where you can see us before the first face-off. I'm hidden behind Ho-Ho-Ho at center ice, but you can see Doug-Ho in the red shorts at the far left with my lei.

One other thing that was cool about the Ho's:  they stick together.  One of the Ho's had an ex boyfriend show up and yell at her between period breaks from the scorekeeper's box.  Then he proceeded to wait in the parking lot after the game to continue harassing her.  So none of that is cool, but we all sorta made a wall of people around her so he couldn't get to her and we walked her to/from her car.  Coach and a couple other guys were on the front line there, while we sorta spirited-away/distracted X-Ho.  And pretty soon the guy figured out that he wasn't getting anywhere and left.  Cuerv-Ho figures that in 5 years it will be a legend, right?  "Hey remember that year when X-Ho had the stalker show up?"

I invited Iggy to this game after hearing there were going to be shenanigans.  I wasn't sure about that choice afterwards because it wasn't a real game, but was more of a drop-in: no refs so no penalties and face-offs were the "tap your stick 3x then go for it" type.  But Iggy said it was very amusing to watch even if it wasn't a real game.  That's good - because it was highly amusing to play in that "game".

Doing Something Bafflingly Crazy

Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.  This poster was on my mind this morning.  I remember being vaguely offended when a friend gave my ex (the hubby) a tshirt with this on it. He thought it was funny. So I was clearly missing something.  Sorta funny because now I think these are hysterical.  Part of my deja-vu was about 6 months after my ex started dating his current wife, he IM'ed me in the middle of my work day.  Said he has something to tell me, do I have a minute?  I knew he was dating and I knew it was serious and I thought the chick was a good match for him, so I was totally expecting the "we're engaged" notice even if that would've been sorta quick (I personally don't believe love has a time-frame, so 6 months, 6 years? Who cares?).

Instead, what he said was that he had come to realize a few things and wanted to apologize for a couple... It was a really, really odd sort of vindication for me.  It made me feel simultaneously justified, hollow and not insane (which is not the same as sane).  I guess if you chose one word for the moment it would be bittersweet.  It was not something I expected or needed.  But I did appreciate it.

I was giving Alan 6 months and was sorta expecting the same thing.  "You made me realize 'x'...and I'll do that better with the next S.O."  However, he's already started that stuff.  So I have this theory that I'm like the perfect starter sig-other.  After dating me, you get it, and the next woman is "the one".  So I thought maybe I could find a funny "Demotivator" about it.  This was the closest I could find: Dysfuncation: The only consistent feature of all your dissatisfying relationships is you.  True...and hard to argue with...

While I was looking out on despair.com, I found these next two that I also thought were funny and relevant...one because of the rocket scientist reference.  Potential: Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.  We used to joke that because the Cold War was over we just wasted 4+ years on a degree that allowed us to get a stellar job at a fast-food joint. 

The other one I like because I think I can embrace the idea of doing something crazy that leaves a total puzzle for future generations.  Priorities: Hundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove... But the world may be different because I did something so bafflingly crazy that my ruins become a tourist attraction.  I always wonder about the things anthropologists/archeologists say about ruins/historical sites.  How do they really know with any degree of certainty?  But I do like stories...true or fictional.

Self-inflicted drama

Sometimes things just work out, you know?  I don't know why I'm always surprised.

I had agreed to meet Alan last night for a movie (don't start with the "that's not super-bright, Ms. Rocket Scientist" stuff -- I thought we had the ground rule worked out and I need to get the "karma/whatever-you-want-to-call-it" worked out to neutral here).  I figure a movie is safe - not much talking and so I won't cry and it's something we can do to get back to "just hanging out" feeling normal.  I go to the movies with lots of friends, right?

I got the time wrong, so we missed the movie.  While we were sitting in the parking lot deciding what to do next, a car stopped on the exit ramp from the highway, the flashers came on, and a woman got out and approached us.  Her oil light had come on and the car "just stopped".  So we drove her to get oil at a nearby gas station.  It was interesting...she was very cautious and wouldn't get into the car with Alan at the gas station until I was ready to get in as well.  And when we got back to her car there was a male police officer there.  She asked me to stay with her for a minute.  So I basically stayed until the oil was dispensed and the car started.  (Alan stayed in the car.)  I can understand her being nervous...but I'm not sure it would've occurred to me to worry about it.  Although I would've just called AAA on my cell phone and cut out the random people.

While we were helping her out, Alan and I were joking, trying to lighten her mood.  As she leaves, she says to me, "So you know how lucky you are?  It's so nice to find someone that makes you laugh!"  Oh the irony!

At any rate, Alan and I ended up just talking instead (to reiterate -- not what I wanted).  But I am hoping that this will help bring him closure...and gets him to a happy place.  It didn't seem like that was happening/helping last night.  We had a repeat of all the drama...and you know I cried the whole time.  (I seriously think I got defective tear-dispensing-system or I am an emotional over-achiever when it comes to crying.  Or I need book like How Not to Cry at the Drop of a Hat For Dummies.)

After all this I'm exhausted and torn.   Do I call Iggy and "confess" to this drama and that Alan broke "the rule"?  And I feel responsible since I put myself in the situation where it could happen.  Do I just deal with my own drama and not involve Iggy?  So what do I do?  I work for a little while (since I can't very well ride my bike at 10pm...well I guess that's not impossible but it's not appealing to me).  I don't really come to any solution but I do end up calling Iggy because I said I would.  He only knew that I was going to the movies with a friend.  I didn't think to mention the friend's name and I certainly haven't mentioned his significance yet.  So while I think Alan and I are clear on where we stand NOW, I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do if I do explain it.  And I can't see how any of it is going to sound reasonable and non-sneaky.  See why I hate dating?  I know I do it to myself...I really have to start working more on the "full disclosure" type of communication.  I work with details in my job -- and I do OK there -- why is it so hard to do that in my personal life?

At any rate, Iggy and I talk and the whole thing comes up and miraculously he's not angry.  And today I couldn't find my wallet anywhere, so I ended up having to call Alan -- it was in his car.  Talking to him was very low-key and the handoff went fine.  He even apologized for breaking "the rule" (see? he really is a good guy).

So I learned 2 things (again):

1. Stressing about it has very little impact on what will happen.
2. I create all my own drama, really.

I gotta figure out how not to do either of those...

Have you ever had déjà-vu? (Didn't you just ask me that?)

Drama, Drama, Drama! It drives me bonkers! (And yeah, it deserves the capital-D!)

I was married for 10 years (and we were together a total of 15).  When we divorced when I was 34, it was practically half my life.  The only people that had known me longer were my mom/dad/brother and Becca (a friend from Jr. High).  So I couldn't imagine my life in the total and complete absence of my ex...even though I was completely willing to move onto the next chapter.  For those of you that don't know me, we are still friends -- for instance he called me the other day to see if I could dog-sit and during that conversation I asked for advice on my 18-year-old cat whom he'd lived with as well for a dozen years.

But my drama with him is over.  It's all just calm, once-in-a-while chats or we show up at the same hockey drop-in or a mutual friend's party.  Whatever.  It's all good.

Today's drama is with a guy I dated off and on for a few years ... longer than I care to admit.  (Let's call him Alan.)  So it's like a bit of deja vu from all my other dating experiences.  In this case, it's been basically over since he stood me up for a planned ski trip in November.  There were a few conversations after that...but they amounted to nothing changing.  So we gradually stopped talking at all.

In the last month or so I've started seeing someone I'm really interested in.  Let's call him Iggy (heehee - I crack myself up - he took a Facebook quiz that said his punk rock alter ego was Iggy Pop).

Then, mysteriously, in about the same timeframe Alan starts texting, IM'ing, calling.  I checked my text messages.  His last text before that was 3/3 regarding a hockey drop-in that we attend and he wasn't going that night.  Coincidentally I've been busy (NZ, then 3 hockey tournaments in 3 weekends - woo hoo - life is fun!!!) and didn't really get back to him.  Monday I told him that I was dating someone else and I'd still be willing to hang out as friends, but he had to understand the ground rule first (ie; I won't date you so don't try to convince me).  And since then it's been all Drama, Drama, Drama.  With flash-backs and deja vu to my divorce and the other break ups I would label significant in my life.  He's telling me about people he might date (go for it - that makes me less nervous about you trying to break the ground rule), we're having conversations about why it went wrong (which is ultimately good for me, right?  I get some closure, right?  right?!?!), and he's saying all those wonderful things that used to make me happy (but now just give me a headache and make me cry -- although I cry at cartoons too, so that might not be a good measurement).

So, is it worth it to try an be friends?

Does anyone else worry that if they don't try to get back to some sort of harmonious spot (friendship or measured tolerance or something) that their ex will turn into an Ax Murderer and they'll be a sad story on the 9 o'clock news?  Actually, I'm actually not worried about violence from any of my exes...it's more that I can't stand conflict in any form (even sitcoms and reality shows make me tense sometimes) so I must get back to a point where we don't all cringe when the other person walk through the door.

How does one break up without all the drama?

I guess the answer is "don't date anyone".  And at times I think I could almost do that.  Frankly, there's so much about dating that I dislike.  And I don't think I've gotten any better at it as an adult.  Which completely disappoints me.  I always figured those high-drama situations from high school were because I was young and new to dating.  But in the end I really like the connection with another person...that can be a really cool thing.  So I guess I'm stuck with dating.  I hope I'm not in some sort of doomed Groundhog-Day-esque loop until I figure it out and get good at dating.  (The quote in the title is from that movie.)

I remember a saying from my Brazilian friend, Rico:  Is it all OK? No? Then it's not the end -- because it's all OK in the end.

I think I'll go ride my bike and get my head back on straight hopefully.

Lyric Hat Trick

The other day I posted on my facebook status:

...is looking for a hat trick:

1. ...you bleed just to know you're alive - Goo Goo Dolls/Iris
2. ...I wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm alive - Thriving Ivory/Angels on the Moon
3. ...? anyone? Bueller?

There was a third song about hurting and knowing you were alive that I knew vaguely but couldn't think of.

One thoughtful soul wrote back with an uplifting song about how it's really all OK (Al Green - Everything's Gonna Be Alright).  Apparently he was worried I was depressed.  I'm not.  I swear.  Neither of those songs make me sad.  I love the sound of both of them and in particular I find those lines poetic.  The person singing/writing the song might be sad...I don't presume to know, I guess.

The Goo Goo Dolls song has a couple of other cool lyrics:

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And all I can taste is this moment, And all I can breathe is your life

I just want you to know who I am

Now, the movie it's from (City of Angels) I find to be a tear-jerker. But not overly depressing.

I don't recall where I came across the band Thriving Ivory and their self-title album.  But it's that and the new Chris Cornell album (Scream) that seem to be getting the play-time on my iPod.  Angels on the Moon has a few other lyrics I like, including part of the chorus:

Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

a part that sounds like a shout out to the 9/11 heroes to me:

This is to one last day in the shadows
And to know a brother's love
This is to New York City angels
And the rivers of our blood

At any rate, I like those songs and was looking for a third one -- because you know the world revolves around hat tricks right?  (Maybe I should change the name of my blog to "Chasing Hat Tricks"...)

So today I gave up and did it the "old-fashioned" way:  I Googled it. (Can you taste the irony there?  Old-fashioned?  Google?  Ok, nevermind.)

Here's the most popular result:

I know your pain is for a reason,

You need to feel just to know that you're alive

- Kutless/To Know That You're Alive

Not bad, I guess.  The sound of the song is OK.  Probably the true hat trick for my lyric collection in this case.

Just overall not exactly what I had in the back of my mind.  By the way, I heard the song I was trying to think of over the weekend while driving home from a hockey game.  I tried to remember it all the way home, but forgot it.  Yeah, my short term memory leaves something to be desired, and I couldn't remember the song's title or who was singing it.  It had the phrase "dirt" in it.  I just knew it did.  But when I Googled "dirt lyrics" it came back with dirty lyrics. Hmmm...different topic, really.  Eventually I got my search refined enough that I got the song I wanted.  I love the internet!  I was originally introduced to this song on an album of covers done by Johnny Cash - yep the Man in Black, himself.  Covering other people's work!  So here you go - the song I was looking for for my hat trick:

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real

- Nine Inch Nails/Hurt

...which has the other cool lyric You could have it all, My empire of dirt.  This song I do think is a little sad.  So maybe it's not really a hat trick.  What do you think?