Thanks… (or “The Cast of Characters”)

On my long ride this weekend, I got to thinking about why it is that I get so frustrated with wasting time. I've been frustrated that it took me so long to get out of a relationship that wasn't great for me…and with not trusting my instincts on several occasions in relationships. My only real conclusion was that lame saying about "you have to have the bad to appreciate the good." Aside from that drivel, I realized I did learn a few things along the way – and that there have been a lot of people in my life who've taught me something whether I wanted to learn it or not.

I think that all of these concepts have put me in the spot I am today…and losing Ariel seemed like a good place to review it all. So I think, in short, that I need to stop wasting time being annoyed about wasting time (yes, I get the irony there)! I'm in a good spot now.

Family

The 'rents: A constant in my life. Always pro-Tamma even when they tell me I'm not doing it right. I'm very fortunate here.

Bro: True ally in learning to navigate life – when we were military brats, when we were trying to figure out life in the USA and small-town America (mind boggling!), and in learning how to integrate life outside the nest with our upbringing. And I had a fabulous time touring Rome with you – even if your idea of being a tourist didn't include the Coliseum or the Vatican. Eating/drinking our way through a week was fabulous!

SO's

Irv: I will never be happy in a relationship where there's not a lot of physical contact/affection. Sadly, I had to learn this one again. (I am a slow learner.) I always fall in love intellectually, but I am never happy with only the intellectual connection.

Zog: Communication and expectations. We spent so much time together that it seemed like we really should be able to read each other without speaking. But that's just not how it works. (sigh) Thanks for all the work we did learning about how to communicate. And along the way it opened my eyes to what I expected the world to be – and how that was so different from most of the people around me. And thanks for getting me into playing hockey – it's been a conversation starter in so many areas.

RBS: You deciphered the "blank look" that has plagued me for years. I could've avoided a lot of frustration if I'd figured that out before. Now I'm learning to use that as my poker face. ;-)

Rico: Even if it was all a "what if" scenario you reminded me to dream big. And I love how different our outlooks are – I am constantly learning from you.

Alan: You believed in me and got me started on a new career path. I am so happy to no longer be a code monkey! I would be dreading every day still if I had to write code all day and not occasionally talk to a real live person without having to first read up on the latest Java lingo. You helped me pick out/buy my road bike and are largely responsible for my current obsession with riding. I liked to ride my bike before, but became addicted once I got a really fast bicycle. Thanks for pushing me to that next level. It helps immensely with my ability to deal with the world.

Chix

Becca: A constant in my life. Always pro-Tamma even when I'm being an idiot. And usually not afraid to tell me I'm being an idiot. Honorary sister, really.

Calle: My partner in crime! I wish I'd met you years ago – we've had great adventures and have more ideas for adventures than I think we'll be able to squeeze into this lifetime. We have so many similar interests and life occurrences it's a little unreal sometimes. But let's keep it that way – always push the envelope!

 

…and the fine print

This is by no means an exhaustive list. It's simply as far as I got during my 3-hour ride…and as much as I can remember now that I'm back in front of the computer. My brain is super-dinky.

And, while I know you're significant, Iggy, I don't know what your bottom line contribution to my life is yet. It's easier to see that when it's either existed for a lifetime or it's over and done with. I'm by no means ready to be "over and done with" our time… Thanks for the last week – I know in reality that I was a bit melodramatic over a cat, but you get the concept of her being part of my family too. And this was a review of my past, not my present or future. ;-)